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far away...

It has been a ridiculously long time since I have even visited this site. It reminded me too much of a time in my life that I both loved and hated. I loved the memories of all my new friends and the fun we had creating random crappy groups and also hated the memories of how we fell apart and a good friendship was destroyed. But I am least for one post. I can't promise more because this part of me died a long time ago, but I needed a place where I could muse and this was always good for that. So here I am...back again...back in the unknown. yay.

I'm reading this book series...a fabulous romance, aka smut, series about sixteenth century highlanders and the women they love. I'm not talking just any kind of love, but the love that every mortal dreams of, whether man or woman. There is nothing but pure passion between these people. One of the heroines muses, before she meets her Highlander of course, about the lack of passion in today's world. Oh, did I forget to mention that most of the heroines travel back through time from the twenty first century? So, our heroine, Gwen, is pondering the lack of passion in our society today. She never saw it between her parents, her parents never encouraged her to seek it, in fact they did the complete opposite. They urged her to make a "smart" match in a man that would enhance her work as a research scientist and would only make herself and them look better. And likewise the men in her life were only interested in her becauae her parents were famous scientists and they wanted to better their careers with having them as inlaws. Gwen of course finds the passion she is so longing for in her rugged Highlander, Drustan. And likewise Drustan finds what he never thought he would be able to find, a wife that would love him for him, including his mad druid skills that scared maidens in his century.

Of course this gets me thinking about everyone I know in my life. My parents, all my married friends, my grandparents, pretty much any and ever married couple I have ever met in my life and with every single one I don't see the passion. I don't see the overwhelming, omg there is no way I can live without, love. It makes me really sad, because thats how I am. This isn't some school girl fantasy about wanting my husband to always throw me down on the bed and make wild passionate love to me. This is me already being passionate about my friends and entirely too over protective sometimes, this I realize, but knowing that once I find my mate, that there is literally it for me. He will be my one and only and that I am going to throw myself into it whole heartedly. I need the passion, but what if it doesn't actually exist in our world anymore?

We are so damned caught up in our own crappy selfish lives. Just look at what we have done to our planet that has never done anything but love us. We destroyed it ruthlessly because we don't care about anything but ourselves. I used to think that people didn't really take the time to care, but now I realize that very few, very few, people have the capacity to actually care about someone other than themselves...some of my friends included. This has totally gone places I didn't fully intend.

Is there real passion in the world anymore, or have we been taught too well to not worry about anyone but ourselves? Its a depressing thought isn't it?

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March 2010


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